Some veggies from our dinner.
This weekend, I attended two birthday parties. The first one was for my uncle who’s birthday was this weekend. We had a dinner at my grandparent’s, and we had some carrot cake for dessert. It was fun to see my family again, and to say hi to my cousins. My youngest cousin, is so fun to talk with, I say talk but it’s mostly just playing with him, since he’s like, 6 months old and doesn’t understand a lot. But he is very happy most of the time and he always appreciate when when you try and communicate with him.
My grandparent’s Daffodils.
The vase for the Daffodils, which my uncle put this butterfly on, insisting that the picture would be much better with it.
The coffee, and carrot cake.
We didn’t do much else, our birthday parties on this side of my family are usually very casual, not that I ever go to any formal parties, but these are extra casual, there’s not that many of us, so we mostly just sit around and talk, and maybe watch some TV. I’ve always prefered family gatherings on my dad’s side of the family, mostly because we’re not that many people, which means less impressions to take in and less anxiety and worry. Even though it does happens that I get anxious around them, but that’s just life for me, and I’m always a little anxious. But I always carry my tranquilizers with me, in case of my anxiety getting worse, but I don’t really mind birthday parties that much, I guess I try to see them as a sort of social training, and I always get something to blog about. That’s actually something that helps me in social situations, having my camera with me so I can take pictures makes me calm, and it’s especially good around food. It’s a lot easier for me to eat food if I get to take a picture of it first, even more so when I’m around people, since food is a very anxious topic for me.
But I am gradually getting better, and some things come and go in periods. Having anxiety can, and will be, very limiting in life, but I guess that’s something I have to work on, even though that is something that’s easier said than done. For people who don’t life with the kind of anxiety I do, it’s very easy for them to say “oh, but you have to do the things that make you anxious anyways, or else you will never get over it”, but in reality getting an anxiety attack in a public place, or anywhere, can be traumatizing, and if you live with anxiety, you tend you take the easy, and short route around it, which is avoiding what makes you anxious, instead of doing it anyways. And doing it anyways, to get over what makes you anxious, doesn’t actually always work, those things are very individual, just as what medication works is individual, all treatments works differently for different people, and you shouldn’t make someone do something that they don’t want to do, even if you mean well. That could potentially make you a anxious topic for someone. Someone having a lot of anxious memories connected to you, could make it hard to be around you, even if you are someone they love.